Hey, who's the best at getting sprained?!?
Dear, beloved crutches. I much prefer you to my hot, fun, and speedy longboard.
Could this possibly rule any more?
. . .
To tell you the truth, I'm significantly less than thrilled.
I wasn't trying to take a tricky turn at high speed. I wasn't bailing to avoid a car whose driver is above stop signs. I wasn't drunk off my ass, wearing a tiny-short dress and operating under the premise that wasted barefoot longboarding needed to happen. Hell, I wasn't even riding Delilah. Nor was I drunk (my sobriety could go in either the plus or the minus column; it makes what really happened much more boneheaded and inexplicable, but the story is much easier to relate to inquisitive acquaintances, friends, professors, and Student Health Services staff than it would be if leaving out "I was drunk as an alcoholic lord" constituted a lie of important omission).
No no. I was cold sober and firmly in contact with the ground when, while simultaneously talking to my dad on the phone and hopping up on the concrete seaty things at the north end of Scripps' orange grove, I missed the edge of the concrete seaty thing. I bashed my shin on the (sheathed) samurai sword I had with me (my possession of which is a short but mediocre story), and jacked my ankle something awful. I yelped, half from pain and half from consciousness that I had two potential eyewitnesses, and lay on my back grimacing for a few seconds before I told my dad what happened, asked him to continue what he was saying, and then walked around on the ankle for four hours in various stages of intoxication. I woke up this morning and found it incapable of supporting my weight.
AWESOME! No good reason for such a stupid fuckup breeds a suckass story to go along with my lame immobility and the decidedly unwelcome revival of painful problems with both shoulders. I, for one, am pleased as punch -- more so because today has been one of the two decent longboarding day we've had in maybe two weeks of lame rain that has grounded me and given me a consistent likeness to a drowned rat.